Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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