To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
