Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
