I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
