i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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