Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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