sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
