Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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