He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
