listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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