Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
