shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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