you guys were way drunker than both of me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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