Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
