Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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