CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
