I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
