I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
