Where did you get a picture of my penis
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
