The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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