im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
