The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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