We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
