he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
