I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
