best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Mom said you looked used
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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