nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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