Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
