why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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