He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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