i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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