in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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