She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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