i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
