I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize