so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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