I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
