a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
