i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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