I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
