I wannas sexs uuuuu
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
