Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
well you can't waste a boner
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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