Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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