North Korea, Best Korea!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
