she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
