Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
