How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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