Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
