either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
