Soap is not a condiment
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize