every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
