i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
