It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize