If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
