He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
