Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
