My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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